margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
