I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.