I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound