So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.