Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
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I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course