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i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
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