You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
