I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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