What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
