drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
My vagina is officially offended.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
