This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
