I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
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