she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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