I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
