one might say we're banned from that church
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
