Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
