Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
