even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
