What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
