i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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