I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Randomize
