I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
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