We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize