a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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