not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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