Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
My vagina is officially offended.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
