His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
