the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
