so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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