oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
