New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
It was a blind-side dick pic.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
