Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
