Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
