I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Where is the hickey?
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
