My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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