Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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