Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
