You work out of a Hotel?
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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