My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
