try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
