Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
