i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i think my mom watched the whole time
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
