I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
