East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i think my mom watched the whole time
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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