Me too!
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i love accidental penises.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
