dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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