Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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