Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize