it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
