Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
