I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
