you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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