I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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