just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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