I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
