How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
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