Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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