Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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