The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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