I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
