we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
jump out the window naked night went bad
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